My Home Birth Story

            Since the day I got a positive blue plus sign, I had been anticipating my labor and delivery and what it might be like. If you know me, you know I find myself in the midst of random hobbies occasionally, and birth had become one of those. Before I was even pregnant, I was googling birth videos and stories, because the whole birth experience was so interesting to me. When I imagined myself having a baby, I always pictured a hospital setting with an epidural, but the more exposed I was to different ways of birthing, the more I found myself wanting something different. It became a slow domino effect, first I decided I would try unmediated in the hospital, then I started leaning towards a birth center, and eventually decided to plan a home birth. Of course I am not naive to the fact that birth can be scary and unpredictable, and hospitals can be necessary. So I always planned and probably always will plan both a hospital and a home birth.

                Michael (my husband) and I agreed that our number one priority was getting our baby here safe, and healthy. I continued to see my regular OBGYN as well as my midwife Angie. The situation was kind of odd, and I got a side by side comparison of both types of care throughout my pregnancy. For me, there was a stark contrast between the two. I really loved the relationship I was able to build with my midwife. Angie is a certified professional midwife as well as a licensed direct entry midwife, which means she has to follow strict guidelines with the state of Utah. We were drawn to this, because she was able to carry medications in case of hemorrhage, as well as oxygen, I.V.'s, Rhogam, antibiotics and more. She isn't allowed to deliver twins, or breech babies, and would transfer care if I were to develop anything out of her scope of care.

                Throughout my pregnancy we focused a lot on nutrition and diet. I loved this aspect, because it just made sense to me. The healthier I am, the more low risk my pregnancy would be. Each visit, she would spend a good hour visiting/educating us, answering any questions or concerns, and checking baby. I always looked forward to my prenatal visits, and developed a strong trusting relationship with Angie which made me so comfortable when it became go time. Trusting your care provider is huge. That was one aspect of the OBGYN group that I didn't love. I would visit with a different one each time, and my appointments were only 5-10 minutes long because I was a low risk pregnancy. Although I did trust them as care providers, I never did develop a relationship with any of them. Even if I did, there was no guarantee a specific doctor would deliver my baby, because they are on a constant rotation. I truly loved the midwifery care I received throughout my pregnancy, and will always see a midwife now, even if I do have a hospital birth in the future.

                Michael and I did a lot of preparation for our birth. I ordered about a million books from amazon, and we attended a hypnobirthing class. Which is funny, because I have a stubborn mind, that cannot be hypnotized. Fortunately you don't have to be hypnotized to benefit from mindful birthing techniques. I would recommend going to a class, even if you don't want an unmedicated birth. It was extremely educational, and I loved that it was centered around having an active birth partner. I deemed Michael my birth partner the day I decided to marry him and have his babies. Truth be told, he looked forward to going with me, and wanted to step into that role during our birth.

                The last month of my pregnancy lingered longer than I thought it would. I finally hit that point other mamma's constantly talked about. The one where you really do feel just done. I rarely slept well, and was up at least 4 times a night to go pee, but my last night was unusually rough. The day before I had spent with my mom at City Creek. It was Saturday and my birthday was just a few days earlier, so we were shopping and getting lunch to celebrate. My due date was Friday July 15th, so mostly it was just to keep me busy, and my mind off labor and when it might start. I didn't want to constantly worry about going into labor, so I had a whole week of fun things planned after my due date passed that I could look forward to doing. I knew it wasn't uncommon for a first time mom to go over her due date, I was just crossing my fingers I'd be able to go into labor on my own.

                After a long night of what felt like menstrual cramps, it was now Sunday morning and I knew I wouldn't be making it to my cousins farewell. I was exhausted from lack of sleep, and 2 days overdue. For the first time I could finally feel my braxton hicks contractions, and they were no longer painless. I didn't think much of it, because I know women can feel them weeks before they have their babies. I figured it was just another sign that I might have my baby in the next few days, and finally got out of bed. They were doing a brunch after the church meeting, so I decided head over and visit family and friends. Every once in a while I would feel another contraction, but they didn't seem very consistent, so I wasn't keeping track of them. After brunch I headed to my mom's house to bake my own birthday cake. I volunteered to make it because I like baking, and after her protests she finally agreed to let me. It was almost noon, and dinner wasn't until 5:30, so I decided to just head home and take a nap, then return later to bake the cake.

                When I got home I took a couple tylonel pm to help me fall asleep and slept until about 3:00. I awoke to a stronger contraction, and I needed to pee. As I rolled out of bed I felt a big warm trickle go down my leg. Now don't get me wrong, I have had my fair share of almost peeing my pants, even before I was pregnant, but especially since being pregnant. I had managed not to pee my pants entirely this whole pregnancy, and knew in that moment, this was not me having my first "accident." I ran to the bathroom, and groggily called, "Michael, I think my water broke!" Within seconds he was standing at the bathroom door. At this point we could both definitely feel the adrenaline pumping through our veins. My mind was racing, "Is this really happening? No its probably nothing. Should I call the midwife? Yes I definitely should. It's probably just a false alarm. I haven't had any of those yet! Yes definitely false alarm. We should still call her just in case... I am 2 days overdue." And with that I called my midwife who said she would be over shortly to see if my water had indeed really broke, and check on baby.

                During that short 30 minutes I managed to go through multiple underwear because I kept leaking fluids, finally I just said forget it and ended what would have been a never ending cycle. We started to keep track of my contractions, which were surprisingly consistent, and getting closer together. I was still in denial that I was in labor, but these were some pretty solid signs. Which scared me even more. Angie arrived to our home, and pulled out a swab. She said it would turn bright blue if my waters really had broken. She placed it inside of me and we waited. I was positive it would be bright blue, so I was shocked when she pulled it out, and it hadn't changed at all. I asked if she was going to check baby, and she still did. Everything sounded good and baby was healthy. I was hesitant to get cervical exams after my water had broken, because I tested positive for group B strep. Because it appeared my water hadn't broken, I asked if she would check. While checking, she said, "I would say you are a stretchy 2, and tight 3. Hmm this feels really odd... " After a few moments she started pulling her fingers out and with it came a gush of water. "Well your water is definitely broke now!" she said. She called up the rest of the birth team to let them know that we would be having a baby today. She then headed out to the birth center to get her supplies. We decided to just keep on with our day how we had planned, until the contractions became too strong for me to breathe through on my own. So we headed back up to my parents to start baking that cake. Originally for me,  it was now for baby!

                After about 20 minutes at my parents, we were back in the car headed home. Things started to pick up quicker than I thought they would. After a stronger contraction in the car I was now calling my doula Natalie to come over. Everyone started to arrive, and things were getting real. I was finally starting to process that I would be meeting my baby soon. I was so excited to finally find out the gender. I then called my mom to come over. With her now there, my birth team was complete. I felt so comfortable with these strong women and trusted they would take care of me. This made it so much easier for me to let go, and just have my baby. Michael was by my side the entire time, and I was thanking the stars we did that birth class together (and hired a doula!) which I think helped us from having full on panic attacks. Natalie was doing a lot of back counter pressure during my contractions, and I was doing a lot of deep moaning, and horse lips to keep my body open and relaxed.  This helped my labor progress nicely.

                I could feel my contractions getting stronger and sensed I was approaching transition. I decided to let Angie check me again at this point. I was dilated to 8 cm! I was shocked, and mostly just impressed with myself. I am doing it! I am having a baby without medication. I was definitely ready for that tub though. I felt so much better when I was finally able to submerge my belly into warm water. Transition was hard. My contractions became more intense, and there were moments I felt like I couldn't keep going. I remembered to just relax and enjoy each break I got between contractions. If it weren't for those breaks, I don't think I could have done it.

                Angie checked me about an hour and a half later and I was now at a 10 and beginning to feel that urge to push. I remember Angie telling me multiple times at our previous visits that most first time moms push for about 2 hours. In that moment I got discouraged, I told them I don't think I can do this for 2 more hours. I had to remind myself to just stay in the moment, and focus only on resting when it was time to rest, and breathing through the contractions. It took me a few contractions to finally figure out how to push. I wasn't sure how to do it, and frankly it was a lot like pooping, which I had never had to do in front of an audience. I asked my midwives if I could have a few moments to let my body figure out how to push while they were in another room. They stepped out and it was just Michael, my doula Natalie, and my mom in the room. I was able to relax a little better now. I reached down and navigated my way to feel my babies head for the first time. I could physically feel where I needed to push to get this baby out. During the next contraction, I finally felt like I was pushing correctly and that if I continued to push like that, I'd be making progress. In that moment I felt my mind and body reenergize with some confidence and hope that I was going to be able to birth this baby.

                At some point the midwives reentered the room and it had become dark outside. They were continually checking baby to make sure everything was okay. I had to really turn inward, and just be in the moment during the next hour and a half of pushing. It was definitely the hardest part of labor for me. I lost track of time while in labor,  and honestly felt like it went by fairly quickly. I thought that it would be painful to actually push the baby out. I remember hearing about the ring of fire, but that part didn't actually hurt much at all compared to the contractions I was having while pushing. It felt good to feel the baby finally coming. I could see a head full of curly brown hair. I saw the top of that head for a good 40 minutes (which allowed my body to stretch and ultimately not tear). Angie asked me to get on all 4's to try and push because the position I was in was kind of preventing the baby from coming out. I turned over and I could feel Angie stretching me to help me progress more while pushing. I wanted so badly for it to just be over, and to just meet my baby. Finally I felt another contraction coming on and braced myself for the pain of the initial first push. I got about 3 pushes per contraction, and by the third push of this contraction, I felt the head pop out. Immediately I was relieved, and thrilled. I thought I wouldn't push the rest of the body out until the next contraction, but the body slipped out right after the head did. I was SO HAPPY!!!! It felt amazing to be done! Gloria (one of our midwives) guided the baby through my legs to Michael. He placed that perfectly pink baby on my chest, who immediately began to cry. I don't think I have ever heard anything sweeter in my life.

                With the tiniest of cone heads (we thought it would be massive!) our baby was finally here. Immediately being covered with lots of warm towels I realized we still didn't know what 'it' was. We waited for baby to get warm enough before checking. During those moments our baby quieted down and just looked around the room, seeing the world for the first time. Finally they removed the towels just long enough for us to find that we had a beautiful baby girl! Immediately Michael and I both called her by name. We were so happy, that our little Ramona was now earth side. Born at 1:05 in the morning on July 18th weighing 7lbs 7oz, surrounded by so much love.

-- I didn't plan to have any photos of my birth, and am forever grateful for these stolen iphone pics! Thank you mom, Gloria, and Micahel.